sheets

i lay in the sheets and imagine her arms around me.

her skin was always so soft.

so soft.

i lay in the sheets and feel her eyelashes bat against my chest.

she was never one to sleep deeply.

and because of her i never slept.

i lay in the sheets and wish her lips were slow dancing in the moonlight with mine.

her lips were curved just the right way when she smiled.

her lips were so pale.

i lay in the sheets and wonder if she would every lay in these sheets with me.

but she is too precious for this.

she shouldn't waste her nights under sheets stained with alcohol and ashes and regrets.

she should be sleeping in sheets of silk with a man that will not ruin her innocence.

a man who won't break her heart when his ex comes knocking on their door.

a man who is everything i am not.

i lay in the sheets and wish i could be that man.

but i can't afford roses when nicotine has jumped in price.

and she is smoke i can only try to catch in my hands, not smoke that can put me back to sleep.